Bzzzzzzzzz!

I heard that beekeepers were looking to place their hives in peoples gardens (they’d look after them and do all required upkeep) so I contacted the local beekeepers association. Eventually I found someone looking to place his hives in gardens. I will soon be the proud ‘landlady’ of a hive of bees!

So if you have a spare bit at the bottom of your garden please consider the honeybee.

Colony Collapse Disorder is extremely serious, how will all our fruit & veg get pollinated if we have no bees! You can contact your local Beekeepers Association to see if there are any beekeepers local to you looking for homes for their hives.

Will you Fiji me?

HELLO! – I’m back. It’s been a hectic few months but I finally got rid of my disgusting flatmate Matthew and moved into a lovely house.

Here’s something nice to kick off with. Do you need a holiday or just some sunshine? I bet you do. We seem to have entered a permanent winter in the UK. Fancy winning a trip to Fiji? Details after the jump.

How to hypnotize a man

Click on the link How to hypnotize a man

A new diet craze?

I am the proud owner of two big dogs. I bought a large bag of Meaty Bites at Big W and was standing in line at the check-out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Meaty Bites Diet again, although I probably shouldn’t because I’d ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 25 kgs before I woke in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV’s in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Meaty Bites and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her. Horrified, she asked if I’d ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned by the food.

I told her no, it was because I’d been sitting in the middle of the road licking my dick and a car hit me. I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Stupid bitch…why else would I buy bloody dog food??

Ever been called ‘Shorty’?

Are you shorter than average? I’m 5′ 2″ and find it quite hard to get clothes that look good and fit properly in all the right places, without making me look like a bag lady. I’m not trying to look like a model, I just want to look normal. It would be wonderful to buy something off the peg and not check if the fabric is okay to cut at the sleeves and hems, and whether this would make the proportions all wrong. So, aside from making your own clothes, what can you do?

In the UK, there are a number of retailers that carry a collection of clothes for vertically challenged people. They’re not all on the high street so it can be hard to get something a little bit different. I’ve always liked a touch of individuality. Let’s see what I can find…

Additions Direct
Austin Reed – petite collection
Bhs Petite
CC – Petite Shop
Debenhams – petite collection
Dorothy Perkins – petite collection
Elvi – for sizes 16+
Grace Designs Edinburgh – bridal and evening wear for petite ladies
Hawes & Curtis – offers ladies shirts in slim fits and smaller sizes
H&M – gotta LOVE their virtual catwalk show! Check it out!
Karen Gillam – limited edition designs help you appear taller and slimmer
La Petite Salope
Love Me Do Brides – no charge is made for alterations
Marks and Spencer – Petite Collection
Minuet Petite from the Alexon Group
Miss Selfridge Petites
Montage
Next – petite collection (they also do petite wedding dresses)
Orvis – petite collection
Peruvian Connection
Petite Affair
Precis Petite
Principles – Petite range
Reet Petite – includes evening and maternity wear
Talbots – US retailer now in the UK
Wallis – petite collection

Small feet? Check out….

Feet-Petite – online retailer
Little Shoes
Piccolo Shoes
Shoekins
Small Measures
Small Shoes
The Little Shoe Shop

For petite fashion advice, check out the following …

How to Look Good
Petite Fashion Monthly
Reet Petite
Yo Shorty

Visa Swap Shop

Did you catch the bit on TV about a new venture called Visa Swap? You can donate clothing for points, and use these points to ‘buy’ clothes donated by others. Apparently, there are lots of designer pieces being donated. I was intrigued and googled this. Am I glad I did! I found a review from Tinkerbellee ….

What a load of RUBBISH i dropped of £15,000 of almost brand new goods on friday afternoon like many others i was giver over 10,000 visa swap points, i was there at 10am yesterday, and today sunday, there was NO high end designer goods available. I meet several girls/womern on sat and this morning who had all SWAPPED high end goods expecting thesame, the DISSAPOINTMENT that we all felt was walking in to a almost empty room filled with garments i would not give to chaity, Primark, mark 1, new look, etc… dolcis dirty well worn cheap high st,..( NO where on the website does it state that these garments are even accepted, The classify Karen milllen, Reiss etc as high st.) on saturday i questioned the staff about the 60 plus Designer and high end i had swapped, My clothing is very distinctive i would have seen it immediately. I was told they would not be proccessed until tomorrow I felt that something was not right, as all of the well heeled immaculate dressed women i had spoken with had all handed in high end goods, and there was NOTHING available,I went back todayi was there at 10am got talking to a lovely girl feeling the same as I, We went in there and again nothing the same awful cheap clothing and shoes, we spoke with the staff then The apparent DIRECTOR who did not answer our questions and said all of the goods were out, ( well none of mine, nor the other 7/8 people i had spoken to in the 2 days had seen their swapped goods either.) We were then told we had donated our goods to charity for points to swap, actually i and many others thought we were donating to swap with others. I feel TOTALLY cheated and scammed by this whole process i have over 9,300 points on my visa which the security tried to take off me when i asked questions, I never saw a single item of the 60+ I swapped and i was there at the start of both days, I would like to hear from other swappers i have a group on facebook, (visaswap london )

I would have been furious as well. Have you had a similar experience?

Saudi road skating

If you get bored driving around London’s M25, you can always make like the Saudis …. hehe

Posh Spice

Check out this link. I just LOVE the new haircut.

PHOTO

But!

She’s too thin (check out those arms).

She’s too orange.

She’s a poser (which isn’t attractive).

Shame. She could’ve been quite pretty.

Botox

Isn’t it funny how you don’t hear any horror stories about botox, you only hear about how wonderful it is for making the lines on your forehead disappear?

Read this story. Matt ate a rare steak that was contaminated with botulism toxin (botox) and almost died.

Imagine what a build up of botox could do to your body …… eeeewwwww!

Cancer update from John Hopkins

This information is being circulated at Walter Reed Army Medical Center.

No plastic containers in microwave.

No water bottles in freezer.

No plastic wrap in microwave.

A dioxin chemical causes cancer, especially breast cancer.

Dioxins are highly poisonous to the cells of our bodies. Don’t freeze your plastic bottles with water in them as this releases dioxins from the plastic.

Recently, Edward Fujimoto, Wellness Program Manager at Castle Hospital, was on a TV program to explain this health hazard. He talked about dioxins and how bad they are for us. He said that we should not be heating our food in the microwave using plastic containers…

This especially applies to foods that contain fat.

He said that the combination of fat, high heat, and plastics releases dioxin into the food and ultimately into the cells of the body. Instead, he recommends using glass, such as Corning Ware, Pyrex or ceramic containers for heating food. You get the same results, only without the dioxin. So such things as TV dinners, instant ramen and soups, etc., should be removed from the container and heated in something else. Paper isn’t bad but you don’t know what is in the paper. It’s just safer to use tempered glass, Corning Ware, etc.

He reminded us that a while ago some of the fast food restaurants moved away from the foam containers to paper. The dioxin problem is one of the reasons.

Also, he pointed out that plastic wrap, such as Saran, is just as dangerous when placed over foods to be cooked in the microwave. As the food is nuked, the high heat causes poisonous toxins to actually melt out of the plastic wrap and drip into the food. Cover food with a paper towel instead.

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Bottled water in your car is very dangerous. This is how Sheryl Crow got breast cancer. She was on the Ellen show and said this same exact thing. This has been identified as the most common cause of the high levels in breast cancer, especially in Australia.

A friend whose mother was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and the Doctor told her: women should not drink bottled water that has been left in a car.

The doctor said that the heat and the plastic of the bottle have certain chemicals that can lead to breast cancer. So please be careful and do not drink bottled water that has been left in a car, and, pass this on to all the women in your life. The heat causes toxins from the plastic to leak into the water and they have found these toxins in breast tissue. Use a stainless steel Canteen or a glass bottle when you can.